मी कशाला आरशात पाहू ग ?

Today I was just going through You Tube for some videos I wanted to see and I was getting suggestions by You Tube to see Sandeep Maheshwari's videos. (I had watched many videos of him in last couple of months for some official work. Hence I was receiving those suggestions)

One of the videos which caught my attention was 'how to overcome loneliness?'  I immediately clicked on that and started listening to the video.

Sandeep has beautifully explained the concept of and issues related with  'loneliness'.

The gist of the entire talk was we need to be independent for our own happiness as ultimately we are only responsible for our own happiness and thus other emotions as well and once we start being emotionally independent then only we can begin to enjoy our company and can overcome loneliness. I could relate with his points and I started pondering.

Really, really we 'beg' for happiness from others in our life. We expect others to make us happy by putting forth our expectations. We want others to fulfill our desires, expectations, wishes and dreams. If a child doesn't behave in an expected way, then parents shout as they get hurt by seeing their kid disobeying them. Girlfriend and boyfriend get irritated with each other by realising that they are no longer fitting in the criteria of partners of each other. Husband yells at wife by observing that she has been lazy in cooking food since some days and bla bla. (I should admit here that neither Sandeep nor I are talking about allowing and accepting 'Anything' that  comes to you. I believe that we should change the situations if we can and if it is a real need but then unnecessarily trying to change people and situations to fulfil our egos is like acting like a crazy... Isn't it!)

Okay so where I was ?

Yes, we were talking about being dependent of others to be and remain happy.

We become happy when people appreciate us and if they don't do so or they criticise, we immediately feel bad, our ego gets threatened. Why? Is our ego ( Here I am using the term 'ego' with more inclusive meaning ) that delicate? Why do we give charge of our emotions in others' hands? Why don't we take charge of our own emotions? What refrains us from doing so? I don't understand. We search for happiness outside mainly in other people but why don't we search it within our self? Why are so emotionally dependent on others. Why can't we enjoy our own company? I think it's mainly because we don't love ourselves. We always want to love others and want others to love us back but in this whole scene we forget to love the self, the one which is with us since our inception. Why don't feed it? Why we are always desiring to feed others' souls and want others to feed our souls? How and why do we simply ignore or overlook the fact that we can't love others until and unless we love ourselves, we can't make others happy until and unless we make the self happy?

After pondering over Sandeep's video, I tried to imagine how great we can feel if we become emotionally independent. But I just got one question - If we start becoming emotionally independent, would we start loosing our relationships or would we really be able to cherish those burden-free ( burden of expectations I am talking about here ) relationships? I think the answer will be very subjective. But I would want the second one to be the real answer. What's your thought?

- Dipti S. A. Shinde

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