Be your best friend...

Yes... You read it right... Be your best friend... But don't misinterpret by thinking that it's okay to not be with people or to avoid them. What I meant by the title is to be the best friend of yours, to be the best company of yours.  

Today we see many people around who cling on others, who need company of others to be 'whole'. They just can't imagine their life without some people. Isn't it a kind of dependency? And most of us, we name this 'clinging' as 'love'. Isn't it?  Clinging resembles with attachment... And Love is surprisingly different than attachment. When we cling on others, we need them to fulfill our existence. In most of the relationships today, we see that people are attached with each other and may not be really loving each other.(Again let me clarify that I am writing all this as per my concept of Love. So you have whole right to disagree with this.) When we cling on others, I feel that we loose our individuality and get mediated by personality of the person we cling on. Have you ever noticed or experienced this? This is why, most of people who claim to be in love with each other madly, often share same values, same opinions, same viewpoints, same perspectives, some cognitions and same emotions... (Now this scenario is altogether different than one where two people genuinely hold the same views as a different individual. We can easily draw the difference between these two cases.) 

When we cling on others, our lot of time goes in their thoughts and it leaves little room for us to spend time with the self genuinely. Having constant remembrance of someone or something is again completely different than clinging on someone or something.

So why do people cling on others? I think the reason is they just can't be with themselves alone. They can't be the best friend of them. They look at other significant people as a power to fulfill them, to complete them. I am not saying that its right or wrong. I am just saying its unhealthy as it can't give them an opportunity to be the best with themselves. Moreover, its said that a person who can't love the self, can't love others too.

But does being the best friend of yourself mean being isolated from people or being alone? Certainly not. The person who is the best friend with the self is rather more generous in creating and spreading love with everyone around him/her. Such people are a constant and continuous source of love. They enjoy being with others too and enjoy equally with the self. They mix with other people easily but don't let their personality to get mixed with or mediated by the personality of others. They adjust with people but don't sacrifice their core values and principles.

I know it's sounding little (or too) philosophical. But this is what I really feel. You may think that human life is all about attachments, affections and so on. But I would say, human life is all about loving self and loving others. Attachment creates pain and sorrow as it's backed by expectations. But pure love is with zero expectations and full of being  generous where there is only 'giving'. But there is one rule - Love yourself first and then only think of loving others as an empty glass can't fill the other glass.

So let's start befriending with ourselves first, let's start loving ourselves first and then move ahead to love others...

Take care.

With love and bright hopes,
Dipti S. A. Shinde