The Story of Medals...
It has been proved that Bronze medalists are happier than Silver medalists in spite of the widespread belief that 'Silver medal' is better than 'Bronze medal'. Why does this happen? Because of 'Upward Counterfactual thinking' where a person thinks of or expects the better/more desirable result/situation/outcome than what is actually there in the reality.
According to the substantial Psychological research, people have tendency to engage themselves in/adopt the Counterfactual thinking. 'Counterfactual thinking' is a style or a way of thinking where a person thinks of possible optional situation/result/outcome than what is there in front of him in reality. There are two types of Counterfactual thinking - Upward and Downward.
The Silver medalists think that if I would have tried little more, I could have received the Gold medal, thus they get engaged in or adopt Upward Counterfactual thinking and feel low. While, the Bronze medalists think,"I got at least something. It's better to have a Bronze medal than having no medal" and they feel better by engaging themselves in or by adopting the Downward Counterfactual thinking.
In Upward Counterfactual thinking, a person thinks of (relatively) a better/more desirable outcome/situation/result than what is really there in his plate. E.g. Rohan, who started his studies just few days back of his exam and have gotten B grade, feels that it could have been better if he would have started studying earlier so that he could have gotten A grade. He also could have thought that B grade is better than being fail at the exam. This thought is Downward Counterfactual thinking, where people think or imagine of (relatively) worse/less desirable or totally undesirable situation/outcome and feel that current situation is at least better. It's as similar as 'something is better than nothing'.
The Silver medalists think that if I would have tried little more, I could have received the Gold medal, thus they get engaged in or adopt Upward Counterfactual thinking and feel low. While, the Bronze medalists think,"I got at least something. It's better to have a Bronze medal than having no medal" and they feel better by engaging themselves in or by adopting the Downward Counterfactual thinking.
I personally feel, that most of us are the 'Silver Medalists' in our life. We always compare ourselves with people who are (seemingly or actually) doing better than us. I feel, this is one of the most prominent reasons due to which most of us are unhappy.
Many Indian Saints, Philosophers, thinkers have propagated the philosophy of staying satisfied in wherever we are. In Marathi, we say, "ठेवले अनंते तैसेचि राहावे। चित्ती असू द्यावे समाधान ।" It means that we should stay satisfied in whatever way we have been kept by the supreme power. It doesn't mean that we should not have ambitions or big dreams. It simply tells that we should learn to be satisfied and should not stretch our ambitions, dreams way beyond to the level of greed. We should know how much to achieve and where to stop. So, in other words I can say that it's important to engage oneself in 'Downward Counterfactual thinking' to stay happy and satisfied. We all want to be the Gold medalists. But, the fact is, there is no one in the world who is the Gold medalist, except the Supreme power. We always have someone doing better than us and worse than us. It's good to dream high and higher but we can't reach the highest (so easily). One can reach the highest only when he finds satisfaction in the way he is. It doesn't mean to get stuck wherever we are. It simply means to be happy wherever we are.
The fact is, in real life, we all are 'Silver medalists' as we always have someone better than us and worse than us, with respect to any quality or status etc. So why to be unhappy by comparing ourselves with superior people? We all can enjoy the feeling of being 'The Gold medalist' even if we all are the Silver medalists, just by stopping comparison with people who have received something better than us. I don't mean here that we should not try to improve ourselves in our life. I only mean that we should know how much to achieve and where to stop (With respect to the desirable things) in our life. And then only we all can be the 'Real Gold Medalists'.
Stay satisfied.
With love and bright hopes,
Dipti S. A. Shinde
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