दिप्ती.कथन (Dipti.Kathan)

Today we fight with each other on very minor issues. We tend to get angry easily. We get jealous of each other, compete with each other. We are forgetting nature and exploiting it. We are getting dependent of technology unnecessarily. We are getting trapped in momentary pleasure and leading towards hedonistic culture. No doubt, its a by-product of glottalization. But where are we heading? Do we ever think? Or do we even care to think about it? We throw the wrappers on street or outside the train windows. We let the water tap open unnecessarily. While doing this we don't care or not even think about people living in desert areas. Not even one single thought about them crosses across our mind. We still ask for dowry (Though in disguised forms). We still pray for male child. We still disrespect women and abuse them by every mean. We deny the rights of LGBTQI community. We have divided eminent figures, saints and even Gods and claiming our right and authority over them. We fight with

Have you ever thought or think that life is meaningless? Do you find most of the things or almost everything hopeless? Have you lost or are loosing interest in those activities which earlier you used to find to be pleasurable? Does everything irritate you or make you frustrated? Do you think that there is no way ahead? If yes then wake up. Its time to reflect and introspect. Sometimes we go through such experiences which make us think that nothing is going to be alright in this particular case. Our this attitude ultimately gets us nowhere in that particular case. And eventually we become unhappy. E.g. There is a student who wants to crack one competitive exam but has been unable to do that because he thinks that he cant crack that as its hard (As most of the people around him are saying this). Because of such a thinking pattern he doesn't give his 100% in preparation for the exam. Thinking that everything is hopeless and beyond own control, he leaves everything on his destiny. Bu

Shraavyaa met Namit a few years back. Until she met him she had some different set of perceptions not only about men but also about many things in life. The moment Namit entered her life, her life was revolutionised... She used to think that every boy is the same... Boys are restless, reckless, flirt, irresponsible, obsessed with physical pleasure and the list would go on... But Namit proved everything wrong. Shraavyaa started finding him very mature, still naughty like a small kid; responsible and morally strong ,still little flexible and accommodative; someone who is appreciative but not flirt; emotional and sensitive, still logical and realistic... What a rare combination! Isn't it? She found  Namit to be flawless... She thought he is just perfect... Can anyone be so, I mean literally so ideal or complete? Definitely not... Perfection is a myth... Surely Namit also had some flaws. But Shraavyaa has accepted them and him also as her best friend or soulmate... She may or may n

मी बहुतेक व्हाट्स ऍपवर वाचलं होत. - एखाद्या गोष्टीवर प्रेम असणं आणि ती निव्वळ आवडणं यात फरक तो काय ? उत्तर होत, जेव्हा तुम्ही झाडावरचं गुलाब तोडता आणि त्याचा वास घेता, तेव्हा तुम्हाला ते आवडलेलं असतं पण जेव्हा तुमचं त्याच्यावर प्रेम असत तेव्हा  गुलाबाच्या झाडाला दररोज पाणी घालता. किती सोप्या भाषेत सांगितलं आहे सांगणाऱ्याने. नाही का?  मला ही व्याख्या किंवा हे स्पष्टीकरण खरंच खूप भावलं. आपलं जेव्हा खरंच एखाद्यावर प्रेम असतं तेव्हा आपण त्या गोष्टीची किंवा त्या व्यालतीची विशेष काळजी घेतो. तिला जीवापाड जपतो. तिला कोणत्याही गोष्टीमुळे त्रास तर होणार नाही ना, वेदना तर होणार नाही ना यासाठी आपण सतत तत्पर असतो. त्या व्यक्तीसाठी किंवा त्या गोष्टीसाठी काहीही करायला तयार असतो, अगदी कोणताही त्याग. त्या व्यक्तीचा/ गोष्टीचा आपल्याला ध्यास जडलेला असतो. दिवसरात्र आपण फक्त तिचाच विचार करत असतो.  तिच्याबद्दल स्वप्नरंजन करत असतो. आपलं भविष्य तिच्याबरोबर रंगवत असतो.  पण असं प्रेम आपण कोणावर किंवा कशावर करतो किंवा करायला पाहिजे?  असं प्रेम आपण कोणावरही करू शकतो. आपले आई-बाबा, नातेवाईक, मित्

Aatmaja is very intelligent. She is good academically as well as practically. But she didn't have confidence. Because of low level of confidence, she had lost many opportunities. Once she was asked to anchor one program. But inspite of having good communication skills she rejected the opportunity. How sad! Isn't it. There are many people around us who are potentially very good, capable but because of lacking self confidence,they have messed up with opportunities or have rejected the opportunities. Why? Why don't we believe in us? If you try to go to the depth of this issue, you will find many reasons for this lack of Self confidence. One of the important and crucial factors is the reactions you have been receiving since childhood about your success or failure. There are people who have been told that you are useless, you are dull, you can't do anything, bla bla... Receiving such comments hampers the process of development of Self confidence in children. Now this part

"Do you like to play? Then play. Do you like to sing? Then please go ahead. Do you like to dance. Please do that. Whom are you waiting for? You enjoy cooking? Wow. Kindly do that whenever you can. Do you like to ..... Then please ....." You must be thinking what I am talking about. I am doing nothing but telling you to enjoy your hobbies. Hobby is an action which you like to do or you tend to do when you are free from your obligatory duties. We develop hobbies mostly in our childhood. We adopt hobbies through the means of observation of others or out of our own experiences. It's very much important to persue our hobbies. We should never leave them. Hobbies make you utilise your time. They improve your cognitive and emotional well-being. They let you express yourself in appropriate way. If you can paint or sketch well, this painting or sketching will allow you to express your thoughts, emotions through pictures. If you write, writing will make you express you through w

There was a village where there was no sufficient rain since two consecutive years. People were experiencing shortage of water. Villagers planned to arrange a Pooja to worship Indra Dev, God of rains. Everyone got engaged in preparation. And the Pooja day arrived. Almost everyone from the village came to the Pooja place. After some time one boy came. And everyone started looking at him. Why? The boy had an umbrella open in his hand. One of the men standing beside him asked," Beta aapne chhata kyoo khol rakhaa hain?" The boy replied," Chacha hum log Indra Dev ki Pooja karne jaa rahe hain. Indra Dev ki Pooja karnese bareesh to aahi jayegee . To main bheeg jaaoongaa na. Isliye m aine chhata khol rakha hain." The man got surprised with a sense of hope. I had heard this story long time back from someone or I read it somewhere. I don't remember exactly. But I totally remember the meaning and the message of the story. It such a hopeful message! Isn't

If you want to place your right leg ahead while walking, you need to lift your left leg up. Until and unless you leave the floor by lifting your left leg up,you can't walk ahead. Similarly if you want to move ahead in your  life, you need to leave all the negative experiences, memories, people,objects. Till the time you don't walk away from these negitivity, you can't see positive outcomes in your life.  We talk about negative things in our life all the time and complain why nothing good is happening. Now there are two dimensions to this situation. One, really nothing good is happening and second, good things are also happening but we are not paying attention to them and just focusing on negative. I think second scene is more real... Right? Why is it so? Why don't we pay attention to the good things that are happening around us, either with us or with other people? Why do we talk about negative things, people, objects,situations,experiences,memories most of the time?

Recently I heard a case where a lady tells her servant  to not to answer back even if she scolds at him unnecessarily. She said him that she will displace her anger on him. Thankfully the servant had enough self respect to say 'good bye'. After hearing this, I was asked my perception about this case. I said what I felt - Some people feel that they have hired a servant means they have own him/her. They treat him/her as if he/she is their property. They take their servants for granted. Isn't it insensitive and inhuman? When I reflected on this case I thought but we all some or the other time take people,specially those who are closed to us, for granted. So it's also inhuman and insensitive if my previous statement is right? Now this differs from case to case. In closed relationships, sometimes we don't mind if we are taken for granted. But definitely at some point we won't like if others take us for granted. Our self- esteem will definitely get threatened. As w

I remember a dialogue from one Hindi movie, "Mard ko dard nahi hota". Whenever I hear this sentence, the very first question comes to my mind is, does a dialogue writer want to convey that Men are not human beings. He definitely wants to consider men either superhuman or a stone? Whatever it is? But is it right? After contemplating a lot I got an answer that 'it's not right'. Simply beacuse by stating this we are taking away men's right to be human, to be sensitive, to be emotional. Isn't it? I guess some advertisement used to come on television where a mother asks her crying son," Are you a girl to cry like this? ". Whatever would be the situation,is making such statement a sensitive enough? I find it very inhuman, insensitive and discriminating statement. What such 'THINKERS' (So called) want to convey? They definitely want to portray that a man is NATURALLY strong and so he shouldn't cry. Such people are imbibing in men that bein

I was just scrolling down my Facebook page and I happened to look at a post - 'Having soulmate is not about only having love. You can find it in your friend too.' Such a beautiful but highly ignored reality! Some people believe that their boyfriend/girlfriend is only their soulmate. Those who don't have lover think that their to-be husband/wife only will be their  soulmate. But some of them definitely feel that if they would have waited a little long, they could have met the one whom they were looking for. Well, But what do we mean by soulmate?  I think soulmate is one with whom you can share your all the thoughts, emotions, opinions, beliefs, perceptions without being hesitant. It's a place where you feel safe, protected, special,gifted and thankful. You love that person, you believe in him/her. You respect, you adore that person from depth of your heart. You feel like singing together, dancing together. You feel energetic, positive, motivated when you are with him

" I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren't more self- compassionate is that they are afraid they will become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong beacuse our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be." - Kristen Neff This is a qoute I came across online while reading about self-esteem for some office work. And I said - "bang on" in my mind. Isn't it a case with many of us? ( Specially with the women) Why do we confuse self-esteem with arrogance or pride or narcisam ( Though high level of self-esteem results in nothing but them )?  Is knowing own strengths, abilities, powers and believing in them, a wrong? Is total and unconditional acceptance of Self and feeling good about the self is unethical? No. Not at all. Then why do we label such people who have good level of self-esteem as proud or narcist? Good level of Self-esteem is characterised by a substantial

 उर्जिताकडून आज ऑफिसमध्ये सगळे पार्टि मागत होते. का?... आज बालदिन म्हणून. तुम्हाला प्रश्न पडला असेल कि ऑफिसमध्ये काम  करणाऱ्या मुलीकडून बालदिनाची पार्टि कशासाठी? ऍक्च्युअली उर्जिता थोडी... थोडी म्हणजे बऱ्यापैकी कमी उंचीची आहे आणि तिचं वागणं बऱ्यापैकी... बर्यापैकी म्हणजे अगदीच बऱ्यापैकी लहान मुलांसारखं आहे. म्हणून तिच्याकडे आज सगळे पार्टि मागत होते. पण स्मार्ट उर्जिताने सगळ्यांची मागणी फार हुशारीने डिफ्युज करून टाकली. उर्जिता. एक मनमोकळं, निखळ व्यक्तिमत्व... लहान मुलांसारखं... जे काही असेल ते तोंडावर बोलून मोकळं होणार. कोणाची भीडभाड नाही. हा, पण ते बोलताना अदबीने बोलणार, समोरच्याचा मान राखून. कोणाला काही हवं असेल तर कशाचीही पर्वा न करता मदतीचा हात पुढे करणार. राग आला की तो पटकन व्यक्त करून मोकळं होणार पण तो नंतर मनात ठेवणार नाही. जितका पटकन तिला राग येतो तितकंच डोळ्यात पटकन पाणीही येतं. सगळ्यांमध्ये मिळून मिसळून वागणार. लोकांची थट्टा - मस्करी करणार पण कोणाला लागेल असं काही बोलणार नाही. कसं बरं जमतं वयाच्या २३ -२४ व्या वर्षीही इतकं मनमोकळं होऊन जगणं?  एकदा चित्रा, उर्जिताची कलीग

"I am sorry." Vahida politely said. "Why are you saying sorry?" Vinit asked with surprise. "Actually, I am feeling beacuse I got angry at you." "So what? You were right. I created mess in the kitchen you had cleaned with great effort in the morning. It was very natural for you to get disappointed and hence angry." " No but I shouldn't have got angry." Vahida was still apologising. " Vahi... Just chill... Don't think so much. I didn't feel bad. Rather I got happy beacuse you expressed your emotions which you had not done since we got married." Vahida smiled hesitatingly. There are many Vahida around us ( and unfortunately less number of Vinit... Huh!) Have you seen them? Or is it you only, who regret about getting angry? Yes? Oh. But why? Anger is one of the basic emotions which every human being feels some or the other time. But women have been conditioned to not show, express this emotion. They have been t

I remember myself being asked in my childhood - What you want to become in future? And I used to say - Teacher. Everyone of us had some responses ready on this question in our childhood. Some used to say 'Doctor', some used to say 'Engineer', some used to say 'Pilot' and so on. Now when I look back, I have this question - In such a small age, how were we be able to give such answers when we had no enough idea about being a teacher, a doctor, an engineer or a pilot. In my case I used to say 'teacher' beacuse I had been watching my mother being a schoolteacher. And in childhood in that particular age, for a girl, her mother is a one with whom she can identify so she, a mother becomes a role model for a daughter. In my case it happened same. Now also if someone asks me what do you aspire to become, I would say 'a teacher'. It's exactly what has been documented by Social Learning theorist, Albert Bandura, A phenomenon of 'Observational lear

"India is my country. All Indians are my brothers and sisters " Remember we saying this everyday in our schooldays? Of course you remember. People belonging to various religions, castes, sub casts, socioeconomic strata live in India. Consequently our languages are also different. It's a country where all live with love and peace though sometimes we experience conflict resulting from this diversity. My nationalism says that we should respect every religion, every caste in India. Not only I but I think most of us, we believe in this. But do we all follow this? Recently I came across one person who was requested to greet by saying 'Namaste' or 'Namaskar' while taking one video for some official work. But he was not ready to say 'Namste' or 'Namaskar'. While being asked about this, he said "Sir didn't you look at the 'Religion' in my form? But the same person was ready to say 'Hello'. I found it strange. He was ready

Whenever I used to hear the shloka  'कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन' in my childhood, I used to think - Won't be it useless if we keep on acting without keeping a target, without thinking of a reward? But later when I really came to know the real meaning of this shloka, I was deeply mesmerised by the it. What a beautiful statement! We really should give up the desire to get something in return when we act. But sometimes people confuse this statement with 'having no goals and target in out life'. I give you two scenarios. In one, student is preparing for his final exam wholeheartedly. He has set a target to achieve distinction. In second scenario, there is an employee who always praise his supervisor/immediate boss so that he/she will be lenient while appraising this employee's performance. Above mentioned Bhagvadgita Shloka is in reference with second scenario. Most of us are attached with the 'Karmfal'. We always want something in return when we

Nihar was upset. He didn't score good in his semester exam. He was very sad. Phenomenally observant mother observed this. She broke the silence. "What happened Nihar?" Mother knew the reason but she still asked. " Nothing." "What nothing. You look so down. Tell me." "I got less marks in my exams. I didn't expect this." "Hm." "That's why my mood is down." "Don't take me wrong or don't feel that I am criticising you but just tell me frankly. Had you prepared enough for your exams?" Nihar got surprised with question and got trapped in reflective thoughts. Within few seconds, he replied, "No. I didn't prepare enough." " Hm. Right. So then what's the point in becoming sad? You didn't fought for what you wanted then how can you expect victory?" Nihar started contemplating... Isn't it a case with most of us? First most of us, we don't know what we want i

Believe me it's all about your perspective. A same glass can be half empty for some, half full for some and refillable for remaining ones. A same situation can be perceived as threatening or challenging. A same response/feedback can be taken as source of discouragement or a source of stimulation/motivation. It's all in your head. Really. It's only there in your head. It's totally up to you whether to pick positive or negative. The person who sees positive in everything will always win in every situation. He will have control over his surroundings and not vice a versa. Isn't it a situation which everyone would like to experience? Of course it is. Everyone likes to have control over his surroundings. If they really wish so, they should know how to filter and how to take positive from everything. The person who finds negative in everything, who always blames others and situations in his life, will be always blaming. He won't be able to get control over his situat

I might not have travelled much in my life but I know what it feels like. When I go to my native place, I found myself lost in many small small things. Flowing river catches my attention. It shows me how to flow. Not matter what comes in the way. That transparent, pure water teaches me how to find a way even when there are some black, hard stones and rocks. It says - 'Will will find a way'. Such a beautiful and insightful lesson it teaches to us! Those beautiful ,green trees teach me how to reach high but still staying grounded. Trees don't forget their roots even when they grow tall. They themselves stand in intense sunlight but offer cool shadow to the travellers. Aren't these trees telling us something? Of course they are. We should hear and listen to them. Those big, greeny mountains and hills... Are they whispering something? certainly. They inspire us to reach high, to reach the sky and still remaining stable, unshakable. They are big and strong and appear rock

Relationships are beautiful part of human life. They provide comfort, sense of belongingness, affection ,confidence and the most important 'love'. I am not talking about just interpersonal relationships. I am also talking about intrapersonal relationship, yes the one with the self. If you are happy being with the self, you need nothing more. When you start getting all those things from yourself only which generally we receive from others, you become emotionally independent. I have seen some people who have good intrapersonal relationships and also have seen some who have both , good intra as well as good interpersonal relationships. People who have good connection with the self, are more confident,self driven, emotionally and cognitively independent, transparent and honest still modest, humble... They carry some charm with them. People get easily influenced by such people. What can we do to be more in connection with the self? Spend time with the self, be self confident, be

Love and Be Love I read it on Facebook I guess some time back - Whats the difference between ' Liking' and 'Love'?  And the given answer was - When you pluck your favourite flower, you like the flower and when you water the plant of your favourite flower, you love it. Bang on! Liking, lust, infatuation are associated with the feelings of possession, power over possessed object/person but 'Love' is associated with the 'tendency to give and just give'. Love needs compromises, sacrifices. And people in love dont mind offering that. They love to compromise and sacrifice for the person/object they love. I have seen people who claim that they love but they still fight with each other constantly on small small issues resulting from 'Ego'. And I have also seen those people who just dont fight... I mean it. They just dont fight ( Here I am talking about Ego-driven fights). Dont they possess Ego? They definitely possess it but they give more importa