Respect the 'Self'...

" I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren't more self- compassionate is that they are afraid they will become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong beacuse our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be." - Kristen Neff

This is a qoute I came across online while reading about self-esteem for some office work. And I said - "bang on" in my mind. Isn't it a case with many of us? ( Specially with the women)

Why do we confuse self-esteem with arrogance or pride or narcisam ( Though high level of self-esteem results in nothing but them )?  Is knowing own strengths, abilities, powers and believing in them, a wrong? Is total and unconditional acceptance of Self and feeling good about the self is unethical? No. Not at all. Then why do we label such people who have good level of self-esteem as proud or narcist?

Good level of Self-esteem is characterised by a substantial amount of positive evaluation of Self. And it's needed for healthy life.

Self-esteem is important for two reasons according to me. First, if you don't respect yourself, others won't respect you and second, if you don't respect self, you won't be able to respect others also wholeheartedly. I give a simple analogy. You can offer water to others only when you have it in your own glass. Same with the respect. Until and unless you have it, how can you give to others?

Do you constantly try to please others? Do you allow others to treat you poorly? Do you think you don't deserve much? Have you become lethargic? Do you measure self worth by outside influence? Have you stopped taking care of yourself? Do you often neglect your needs? Then it's alarming as these are nothing but the signs of low self-esteem. 

You can use some simple techniques to develop self-esteem in you. ( I found them online )

They are here -

Avoid generic affirmations. Don't just say it but believe in it.

Know your strengths, abilities and powers and demonstrate them.

Stop criticising yourself unnecessarily. Ensure that your enemy doest live between your two ears.

Focus on positive outcomes.

Aim for efforts but not at perfection.

Delete negative thoughts which demotivate you or make you feel inferior.

Percieve mistakes as learning opportunities. Learn from the mistakes.

Try new things. They will boost up your self-confidence.

Set goals and try to achieve.

Accepts and believe in compliments.

Know that everyone is excellent at different different things. No one can do everything.

These are some techniques I found online. You ( And I too ) can use them and feel good about yourself.

Here I  remember one gift I had received by my one of the dearest friends few years back. It was a beautiful jute bag. And she herself had written on that - 'Self-esteem, the best gift you can give it to the self'...

Take care. :)

- Dipti S. A. Shinde